I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
where am i from again
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
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