wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
