I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
