small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
