I can tuck mytits in my pants
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
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