I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
