his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I just found puke in my bra..
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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