Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
