You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Who died my cat blue again?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
