I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
