The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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