all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I don't want my vagina anymore.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
