Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
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