Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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