Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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