I'm laying in your front yard are you home
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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