he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Alive.
So much puke
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
