I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
