This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
