This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
