please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Randomize
