ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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