We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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