i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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