is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
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