this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
