Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Randomize
