Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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