Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
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