Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
