i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Randomize
