You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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