this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
