I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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