Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
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