its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
It's just like the Real World with babies
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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