just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
