I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
