I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
