just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
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