I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
