i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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