Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
