its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
