i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize
