I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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