I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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