Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Watching her eat just hurts me
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
