I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
17 year olds will be the death of me.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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