margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Randomize
