So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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