yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
jump out the window naked night went bad
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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