toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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