it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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