She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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